


Domino City Furry Convention

by Mojanbo



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Genre: Crack, Other, Out of Character, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-09-20 05:09:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9477032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mojanbo/pseuds/Mojanbo
Summary: Stream of consciousness Yugioh GX crackfic. Originally published on treestory.meDomino City's famous Furry Convention! Come and see the mall cops! The Magic Championship! 5-Star Ritual Monster Greg Sestero! Don't be late!Content warnings for each chapter in the notes.





	1. Gay Campfire! Blood Blood Blood!!!

**Author's Note:**

> CW: Guro/gore, burning, sexual themes

Bastion Misawa grabbed 20 piles of fake fur and tossed them in the fire with the piles of leaves and chair legs.

 

"AAAAAAAAAGH!," he screamed, "I'M LATE FOR THE FURRY CONVENTION!"

 

Jaden Yuki stood next to him with his face dangerously close to the fire.

 

"Chill out dude, it's not like there aren't three days to that radical shindig aight?" He put his face even closer. His skin was starting to melt off his bones. Syrus watched in horror; truthfully, it was half horror, half boner. He crossed his legs.

 

"Guro kink is suffering," he said under his breath.

 

"what'd you say, Syrus?" Jaden turned to his friend, spitting chunks of melted flesh across the bags of fursuit supplies Bastion was trying to dispose of.

 

"Uhh... I was asking why you talked in 90s slang all the time," Syrus said.

 

Jaden looked towards the firepit again, his exposed jawbone glistening in the light of the flames, his eyes looking long and far beyond the burning balaclavas and insulation foam, almost as if he was looking back in time about a decade. with a voice low and somber, never turning from his visions of that most holiest of eras, he spoke.

 

"Backstreet Boys," Jaden whispered.

 

Tears ran down his exposed bone and muscle. Bastion threw an entire sewing machine into the fire. Syrus had never been so turned on in his life.


	2. Dank Weed Man: Grand Theft Ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: none, I think?

Belowski skipped down the street towards the convention center. He was wearing his Mokey Mokey fursuit, made out of a white cardboard box, a pool noodle, and construction paper.

 

 

"Alalalwyayyayaaaaaaaaaaa, ba da daaa a poop scoop maloop, moke weed erryday, drop it like its hot," he sang.

 

He continued to warble out entirely incomprehensible crap until he skidded to a halt. Less than a foot in front of him was a paper bag full to the brim with boston creme donuts, balanced perfectly on the seat of a segway.

 

Belowski looked both ways, just like Dr. Crowler had told him to do before he "relieved unsuspecting simpletons of things they don't need." Then he took the bag of donuts and sat on the segway to eat them.

 

"Hey kid, that's not allowed!" A man who was too old and fat to be a mall cop anymore and that was probably the plot of a movie walked up to him. "Get off my cart and give me my donuts!"

 

"Suck my dick," Belowski said.

 

Mall Cop was fuming. Steam literally shot out of his ears. And yes, literally, not figuratively, you grammar obsessed shitlords. The noise was kind of like a tea kettle.

 

"where did you learn that kind of language!?:" Mall Cop yelled.

 

"Your mom," Belowski said, and he turned on the segway and rode down the street laughing like a little kid who had stolen a mall cop's cart and donuts, when in reality he was a short 22-year old wearing a cardboard box who had stolen a mall cop's cart and donuts. The cart rolled down a hill and out of Mall Cop's sight.

 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Mall Cop's mouth became three sizes too big for his head, breaking all known laws of physics. He spun his feet around like Sonic the Hedgehog and ran down the hill.

 

He was too slow. Belowski kept laughing as the cart rolled down the hill and into the convention center. Mall Cop fell to his knees and cried up to the sky. Just as he was about to turn in his badge forever, the dark clouds parted, a single beam of light illuminating the piece of sidewalk he rested on. The image of his father appeared.

 

"Father, how can I make this right?," he cried up to the sky.

 

"Son," Paul Blart said. "Make a movie. Avenge meeeeeeeeeee!"

 

Sky God Paul Blart began to shrink and fade away comically. Inside the furry convention, Belowski had fallen asleep without getting to eat any of the donuts. It was the best day ever.


	3. The Lovely Boings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: mentions of sex and murder. cannibalism/vore

Winged Kuriboh was having a terrible, no good, awful, horrible, really fucking shitty day. Since the "accident", every day had been like that. It was the terrible, no good, awful, horrible, really fucking shitty day he had died and been stuck wandering the earth in this form. Every waking moment was torture.

 

"Puri puriiii!" he said, in a futile attempt to gain Jaden's attention so he could tell his somber tale.

 

Jaden was trying to assemble a new nose out of E-Hero cards. "Hey buddy, I'm kinda busy here, gimme ten, then we can talk." He shoved a Polymerization into the hole in the middle of his face, surveying his handiwork with the mirror he held in his other hand.

 

"Puriiiiiiiiii!" Winged Kuriboh could hardly take any more. He flew in circles, gaining speed, until he headbutted Jaden right in the face.

 

Then he disappeared. Jaden opened his eyes so wide that he got dry eyes, and he thought about the really monotone guy in the Clear Eyes commercials and laughed a bit. He loved those commercials.

 

"Jaaaaaaaden," a mysterious voice said. It was coming from Jaden's nose.

 

"What!?," Jaden screamed and swatted at his face. "Oh my god my new nose is talking!! Holy shit, I've created a monster... a ritual monster! I WANTED A FUSION MONSTER!"

 

"Jaden, I am the spirit of actor Greg Sestero. Avenge meeee."

 

Jaden paused. He tapped his chin for a bit, thinking mostly about food. "Who?"

 

"You know... I played Mark in The Room."

 

"Doesn't ring a bell, Jaden said."

 

"I was Johnny's best friend, but his wife cheated on him with me."

 

"Mmmmm, nope."

 

"Do you remember that one sex scene on the spiral staircase? You know, the really uncomfortable-looking one?"

 

"I remember all the sex scenes in that movie making me uncomfortable," Jaden said sagely.

 

"....Do you remember the guy who shaved his beard and they made a big deal out of-"

 

"YES! Oh my god I remember you now, you were hilarious!! My favorite part of the movie was when you shaved your beard." Jaden stood up and tried to look at his own nose. Tell me to keep my stupid comments in my pocket"

 

5-Star Ritual Monster Greg Sestero sighed. "Keep your stupid comments in your pocket."

 

Jaden laughed uproariously for half a minute, then did that "Ha ha.... haaaaa..." thing people do when they're trying to recover from a laughing fit for another half a minute.

 

"So, you were Winged Kuriboh the whole time?," he asked.

 

"No, I only became Winged Kuriboh after I died and had my soul sealed in a trading card," 5-Star Ritual Monster Greg Sestero said.

 

"You said to avenge you... how'd you die?"

 

"I was murdered, and I think I know who did it...."

 

"Tommy Wiseau?," Jaden chimed in.

 

"Nah, it was Dr. Vellian Crowler."

 

Jaden gasped. "I can't believe Dr. Crowler would do something like that! But Greg Sestero, I can't go and kill Dr. Crowler... he's my teacher. How am I supposed to learn anything!?" Jaden put his hands to the sides of his head and shook himself vigorosely. "He hasn't even taught us how not to eat the cards yet!"

 

The card that absorbed 5-Star Ritual Monster Greg Sestero's Soul fell to the ground. "You EAT CARDS???," he shouted.

 

"Well, yeah..." Jaden looked down at 5-Star Ritual Monster Greg Sestero. He started to drool. Careless Whisper started to play faintly in the background. Jaden took 5-Star Ritual Monster Greg Sestero's thick paper body gingerly in his hand.

 

"You look good enough to eat," he said seductively.

 

"Holy shit, this is actually happening," the card replied as Jaden ate it.

 

"Hmmmm, not bad. Wish I had some barbeque sauce," Jaden said through a mouthful of mushy trading card.

 

Jaden reached into the closet and picked out one of his spare faces and popped it on. This'll have to do, he thought. Then he opened the window, and Careless Whisper played even louder. Outside, Atticus Rhodes was holding a boombox above his head - the source of the song. Upon closer look, Alexis was holding Atticus above her head.

 

"Jaden..." She took a deep breath. "Will you be my date to the Domino City Furry Convention Rave?"

 

"Yeah, of course!," Jaden said, grinning. He paused. "What's a date?"


	4. MY BROTHER CAN PEE COWS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: emetophobia, underage nudity, fire, unsanitary

"Syrus," Zane said. "Syrus, Syrus, Syrus, Syrus..."

 

He chanted his little brother's name, albeit in his typical monotone, as they walked down the street towards the furry convention, pumping his fists like a maniac. Zane was totally covered in aluminum foil, and each of his arms was a Cyber End Dragon head. Syrus was riding in a Little Tikes car with googly eyes on top.

 

"Zaaaaane, I said no!"

 

"Please, Syrus, you have to show Aster when he gets here." Zane pounded a fist into his palm with the crunchy crumbly noise of aluminum foil on aluminum foil. "Last year was incredible! He-"

 

"He pulled down his pants and his boxers were full of pork rinds." Syrus sighed. "I know, Zane, I was there."

 

Zane ran in front of Syrus and flailed his arms. "Not just that! More pork rinds than humanly possible! They kept coming and coming.... it was too much for a mortal being to bear, Syrus. Aster is a master of illusion. You're the only way I can beat him!"

 

Syrus crossed his arms and slowed his pace, kicking small rocks on the sidewalk into the road and probably causing small dents and vehicular damage to the taxis that lined the streets. "When I did it at school, they had to close the boy's bathrooms for a month. Professor Banner made us go in a litterbox."

  
Zane stopped in front of Syrus again, this time in front of the convention center doors. "Please, Syrus, I'll do anything."

 

The tiny baby nerd rubbed his chin. "Anything?"

  


* * *

 

"And so begins the Championship's Rematch of the Domino City Furry Convention Magic Competition. Contestant #1, the reigning champion, Aster Phoenix."

 

Aster stepped onto the stage, flashing strobes and colored spotlights illuminating his luxurious silver hair. The muffled applause of thousands of fursuit pawpads echoed through the panel room as Phoenix struck a pose, then doubled over and started coughing. A red fuzzy tail protruded from his mouth, and he straightened himself slightly and gave it a tug. Pulling on the fur like a rope, Aster tugged out a faux fox fur stole, then another, then another. The foxes were endless. The fox capacity of the furry convention was dangerously high. Someone in the audience murred.

 

"Ok, Syrus, remember what I told you." Zane peeked out at Aster's performance from behind the backstage curtain, then peeked his head back in to help adjust Syrus's belt and pants button. "Just relax and you'll do fine. If he's playing to his audience this hard, he must know he's outmatched."

 

"I dunno, Zane... what if something happens like last time?"

 

Zane straightened Syrus's bow tie, as out on the stage Aster pulled the final fox stole out of his mouth and finished the trick with a great hacking cough. He took a bow, the stage floor behind him completely concealed by a rainbow of fuzzy fake foxes. He picked up the tail of the last one and pulled them towards the backstage.

 

"I hope you brought your best this year, Zane, cause destiny says you're gonna LOSE!" Aster had stopped next to Zane and Syrus to reel in his prop. "Oh, excuse me-" The pro duelist began to cough furiously. Syrus held out a tissue and with a phelgm-filled quacking noise, Aster spat a brown and white speckled... chunk into the tissue.

 

"...What is that?" Zane stared at it with stony cold eyes.

 

"An owl pellet. Don't you want to know what's inside?" Aster slinked up to Zane, daring him to touch it.

 

"No. Not really." Zane went back to checking Syrus's costume for mistakes.

 

"Come on, I spent a ton of time putting it together! I even had Sartorius help make the fake bones. Pleaaaaaase?" Aster put his hands together and pouted. Zane facepalmed.

 

"No."

 

"Fine, killjoy." Aster snatched up his owl, or more aptly, Phoenix pellet and walked further backstage. "Your loss. By the way, the bones spell LOSER."

 

Zane watched him go and nodded to Syrus. "We've got this. Get out there and show them what you're made of."

 

"And now, Zane's little brother, or something," the announcer said.

 

Syrus stepped out from backstage gingerly. Thousands of blank taxidermy and plastic plate eyes were on him. Soulless, unseeing, follow-me eyes. Heads turned to look at him as he approached center stage. The furries were watching, waiting for a trick so grand it would dethrone Phoenix forever, or at least until the next convention.

 

Syrus took a deep breath. He brought his hands to his pants button and undid it. Then he undid his fly. He took his pants off, then his underwear. The furries watched him, their faces belieing no emotion.

 

"His trick is showing them his dick? And you said I would do anything to win," Phoenix sneered. He had come up next to Zane and the two of them stood now behind the curtain, waiting for the big finale.

 

"Shh. Watch," Zane said.

 

"Nothing in my pants...," Syrus said, making a quick 360 degree turn. Then with a flourish of his arm, he waved his hand in a wide circle over his crotch. The furries watched in awe. Syrus held that same hand up above his head. In it was a single quarter.

 

"Ta daaaaaaah!"

 

The panel room was silent. Aster's mouth hung wide open. Zane wore the world's smuggest grin. Crickets - or rather, a couple people in cricket fursuits, chirped.

 

Then, all hell broke loose.

  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" some random furry in the audience screamed. Fursuiters started running every which way, running into each other, ctheir heads, tails and handpaws flying off, destroying costumes that took months of time and effort and likely hundreds of dollars to make. A dragon suit somewhere in the middle of the audience spontaneously combusted and a fire broke out, spread by the shitty garish fabric on the metal chairs. Someone pulled the fire alarm.

 

"See... look what you made me do," Syrus said. He sighed, put his pants and briefs under his arm, and walked back to Zane. "Just give me what I asked for and let's go."

 

"You did it, Syrus. We won," Zane said. He looked back at Aster, whose mouth was still open in utter disbelief. "Fuck you, Aster."

 

Zane reached into his backpack and pulled out a mini-cooler. Inside was a single Drumstick. He handed it to Syrus.

 

"Hell yeah!" Syrus unwrapped the drumstick and started eating with enthusiasm, vanilla ice cream and pieces of peanut covering his face.

 

"Come on, Syrus, let's fix up our costumes and come back tomorrow." Zane led his brother, still pantsless, off the stage.

 

In response to the fire alarm, sprinklers had began to soak the area. Wet and matted furries crowded around the emergency exits, and sirens screeched outside. At least one tiger had fallen and couldn't get up. He raised his pawed fists to the ceiling in a silent call for LifeAlert.

 

Backstage, Aster Phoenix's mouth was still wide open. Like a turkey in the rain in a 90s cartoon, the sprinklers were causing his open mouth to slowly fill with water. Aster started to gargle.


End file.
